New Years.

Another New Year, another new beginning. I like that. It's like a refresh button on life. That is, if you are intentional about using it as such. I decided this year, I would. I am in need of a refresh button. This past year has been exceedingly difficult for many reasons. I am thankful for what God has shown me and the people He has brought into my life during 2013, but I am letting all the pain and darkness go. I am refreshing my life, bringing over the new being that He has molded me into, but leaving my old, outer shell behind. I choose to live in His grace and the newness of life that He has given me. I choose to live within His zoe life (confused? See my first blog post :) ).

As I was thinking about what it would look like to really let go of some of the negative things I've been holding onto, I decided that it would be beneficial for me to make a New Years resolution. Just to really make it official that this is, in fact, a new year. I thought about lots of different things I could do, such as giving up watching movies/TV aka hulu, giving up facebook, having a day of solitude every month, etc. Then I realized that all I want from this year is to grow closer to the One that I was saved for the purpose of knowing. 

It seems rather silly to say this, but my idea came through a dream. Don't ask me to recount the dream, I can't. All I remember from my dreaming was one clear thought: my dedication for the new year needs to be self-sacrifice. I woke up with that thought in my mind. Self-sacrifice. It seems like so often the only thing that is keeping me from having a deeper, more connected relationship with my Lord is myself. My own selfish desires, my laziness, my greed. If my goal truly is to grow closer to Him, then I need to give up myself. 

"The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says, 'Give me all. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked--the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.' "- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Thanks, Clive Staples. 

This year I dedicate as a year of self sacrifice and giving. Giving up natural self for the sake of pursuing the Lord. I am going to seek everyday to intentional give myself to the Lord. And I am writing it down for the world to keep me accountable. World, are you up for the challenge?

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Matthew 10:39